How about a quick look at the classic: "The Four Agreements" by don Miguel Ruiz?!?
In this PN TV episode, we'll get our wisdom on w/4 Really Big Ideas (aka the 4 Agreements!):
- Be Impeccable w/Your Word
- Don't Take Anything Personally
- Don't Make Assumptions
- Always Do Your Best
Hope you enjoy!
As always, you can get this Note & 99 more for only 99 bucks! (Sweet deal, eh? 
)
Thank you! The first thing that came to me that I was reminded about the power of our words. Then I was reminded I do follow the steps unconsciously. I had read this book years ago and the wisdom has found a natural place in my being.
This was refreshing!
that's fantasic, linda!!!
thx for sharing and here's to rockin' it!
Loved this!! Many thanks!
thx, patricia!!!
I love the example of not taking things personally because you have no idea what the other person that you are interacting with is just going through. I personally became MUCH more aware of this on my own. My wife can tell the moment that I come home whether I had an awesome day at work or a hard day at work. My energy is just different and it has nothing to do with her.
The other lesson here is to not let external circumstances affect how you interact with people or even your energy or sense of happiness. For example, when I come home, I can choose to be happy and positive regardless of whether I had an awesome day or a so so day at work. Of course that is much easier said than done but with lots of practice it becomes easier every day. Also a great way to avoid getting into a funk or a spiral of bad events because once you put bad energy out there... guess what you get more of.
So, this video reminded me of the above. Have an awesome day.
LOVE it, Mike!!
Thx for sharing and sending lots of love to you and Michelle and the little felix-inator!
A friend gave me this book years ago, and I read it cover to cover on the plane home. The four agreements when applied, are very powerful and life changing. This book is one that you will revisit over and over on the path to awareness. Brian, congratulations on PN TV, great way to start the day, looking forward to new episodes.
amen and thx, kent!!!
The Four Agreements totally changed my life - when you quit taking things personally - it totally changes your life. I really appreciate this recap of the book. I actually had purchased it for several of my friends for Christmas.
amazing, huh, sue?!?
Brian,
Reading the comments above, it struck me that this is a much more powerful book that I realised.
The one big message I took from the book is 'don't take things personally'.
Echos of Victor Frankl and our freedom to choose our response in any given situation.
Have really enjoyed your summaries in recent months and one of my resolutions for 2010 to complete the set by the end of March - that's an average of one per day or 7 per week.
Merry Christmas to you and everybody else on here and best wishes for 2010.
Neil
love it, neil. yah, this book is pretty cool. simple but powerful.
and thrilled to spend so much time with you in 2010!!
here's to the greatest year of our lives,
-bri
I find that it's easiest to think about what I want to do so I like to put things into positive directions.
Given that, I offer the positive translation of the first three agreements:
1. Be impeccable with your word means...
Don't --------> Do
criticize -> recognize value
complain -> offer gratitude
blame -> understanding everything has a reason for happening (cause/effect)
gossip -> be willing to share your ideas about others with them directly
2. Don't take anything personally means...
Do be aware that others have reasons for doing what they do that involve their whole environment, which you are only a small part of.
3. Don't assume.
Do ask questions.
love it, turil!
reminds me: it's funny b/c when I was in Bali part of my morning journaling practice was listing my "No's" and then my "Yes's." alexandra preferred "I release all..."
My thought centers around the idea that we are domesticated to violate these principles our whole lives. The question is, why would this be so? What purpose does it serve us to be sloppy with our word, to take things personally, to make assumptions, and to not give our best? One viewpoint holds that each of these is designed to keep us safe and comfortable. I don't know.
fun. I think it's just the result of a society operating a low level of consciousness and the bulk of what we are conditioned by is simply modeling the behavior of our caregivers who aren't functioning at the highest possible levels!
But that is essentially the same as saying it's random, because it begs the question of why so many of our caregivers then would end up modeling these traits. What caused them to evolve over time, if they are not successful? I'm thinking in a Darwinistic vein here. I think that the "problems" laid out in the Agreements are in fact not necessarily held as problems by their believers, but as solutions of a sort. Somehow these "negative memes" serve their hosts as well as themselves...
perhaps. altho i'm not sure it's random or just representative of how we're evolving. in any case, i find that question much less interesting than: am I living the 4 agreements?
often I think we can get into an intellectual discussion about stuff and avoid the fact that we have work to do on our lives.
Yep, good catch! I'm on it! I have enshrined them into what Tal Ben-Shahar might call "rituals". I just call them new habits. Thanks
I so appreciate the work that you do. Your TV episodes along with your notes introduce me to new thoughts and validate those I have actually thought myself. I particularly like this episode and believe if we practice these agreements we can , little by little, make a difference in our world.
thx, carlota! i appreciate your kind words and thrilled you're diggin' it!
here's to making a difference in our lives and in the world, little by little!
Thanks Brian, just for your info that mantra from Deepak orinigated from Abraham Maslaw. It is one of the qualities a self actualized individual displays. To be independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
hey leela: yep. I love that characteristic of maslow! altho I think, as with all great truths, this one shows up across all cultures and all times.
a few of my favorites:
Maslow said it this way: Autonomy: “They have become strong enough to be independent of the good opinion of
other people, or even of their affection. The honors, the status, the rewards, the popularity, the prestige, and the love they can bestow must have become less important than self-development and inner growth.”
Aurelius said this in Meditations: “The approval of such men, who do not even stand well in their own eyes, has no value for him.”
Seneca said this in Letters from a Stoic: “Away with the world’s opinion of you—it’s always unsettled and divided.”
Fun.
Being a man of a certain age has its benefits. When younger, it was very difficult to separate others' opinions of me from my opinion of me. With experience, the principles of the "Four Agreements" become incredibly clear. Not only do you change the way you perceive yourself, but you have much more understanding of the behaviour of negative people. With Brian's excellent coaching, I hope some of the younger people who listen will gain some of the insight that has taken me years to embrace. Thank you very much, Brian, and keep up the wonderful work.
amen and thx, mike!
breaking out of domestication-beautiful!
What a great way to put it.
hey Brian, saw you at Audrey's thanksgiving party.
thanks for spreading the light
Nicola
hey nicola: thx for sharing!
powerful, huh?
i like how nietzsche says it, too: “They have turned the wolf into a dog and man himself into the man’s best domesticated animal.”
what a freaking GIFT. thanks for tending to the FAs... i've been "doing my best" to live by these. your 10s are an added inspiration to my daily routine. LOVE ojai AND bali... we share a last name, so i've joked you're my brutha from anotha motha. also LOVE that you refer to ayn rand as your "crazy aunt." LOVE frankl, too! thanks for your ambition and your input to the world of philosophy.
cheers,
thatmelchick
heheh. yah, sista!
thx for your energy and let's rock!
what a freaking GIFT. thanks for tending to the FAs... i've been "doing my best" to live by these. your 10s are an added inspiration to my daily routine. LOVE ojai AND bali... we share a last name, so i've joked you're my brutha from anotha motha. also LOVE that you refer to ayn rand as your "crazy aunt." LOVE frankl, too! thanks for your ambition and your input to the world of philosophy.
Hi Brian
The Four Agreements reminds me of the Four Way Test of Rotary.
I found The Four Way Test very powerful and practical.
cool, gielie!
Hi Brian, love your 10 minute notes, very inspiring, but what happened to the coconut milk even when you paid it no attention the fact that it was there made me think of Bali and beaches a kind of positive psycology even though it was still and didn´t say anything!! Cheers, Dom.
nice catch, dom!!!
perhaps I shall bring it back! so excited to have my workbook next to me it got nudged out!
Yes, I am kind of addicted to your glass of Coco too
two small technical tips: if you don't put your PH notes really in front of your face you will avoid that the light sensor makes a drastic shift (onscuring your whole head in a second.
And indeed, as a technician has already pointed out: putting some curtains or the like in the room will make your voice sound even warmer (of you choose the right colour it may even enhance the twinkle in your eyes
))
So dear Chief PH: have a warm X mas with your Goddess...
hehe. thx, anne!
noted on the light sensor and the sound! thx!!!
big hugs.
What really struck me in this video is how well you are able to articulate these subjects Brian. I too read the Four Agreements years back and it had quite an influence; although, I was a HUGE fan of Castaneda prior to and there is a lot of crossover. Your description of how others' opinions are a reflection of themselves was great!
I am of the opinion that we come into this world with all the tools we need to have incredibly successful lives and that, for many of us, we are led away from that by well-meaning influencers. But I have also come to the opinion that the further we get away from our own guidance, the more opportunity we have to experience how great we can become (i.e. come back to).
This knowledge gets me excited! Because people like you, and I think anyone who is coming to your site, now have the opportunity to be more aware of our greatness than ever before. And in our rediscovery, we allow those who come into our experience to see how they can be great again too.
One thing I don't remember as being a focus of the Toltec teachings is how wonderful it is to be human. The experience of finding our way back is what makes our evolution so much more delicious. We would not seek happiness so intensely if we had not been so painfully aware of our discontent at one point in time. I really believe that being human is as good as it gets! And I believe that when we die we will be excited to get back into a body again.
In Castaneda they were always kind of working at getting out of their bodies and going off to some other place but in some ways that type of thinking causes you to miss out on all the beauty that you are surrounded by right now.
Once again, great to come here and share some thoughts! Keep up the good work brother!
Matt
love it, matt!!!!
thx for your kind words and great reflections. amen on how wonderful it is to be human!
i hear ya on castaneda. I kinda ignored all that stuff and focused on the stuff I love in my Note:
http://www.philosophersnotes.com/notes/all/the-wh...
let's rock!
-bri
I have never quite plugged into the fascination with the 4 Agreements but what grabbed me from Brian's recording was Agreement #4. Always do your Best. It is such a blue collar principle that everyone can get their head around, anytime, anywhere. It calls out the best in me (and hopefully others too) and activates this "put my head down and keep going" energy which I love. No matter how bad a day I am having, I can do the best I can and in that moment I am doing better. Magical!
love it, jim! and as a son of a blue collar, union card carrying father who worked in a grocery store for nearly 40 years (and as a former card carrying union journeyman myself for several years thru high school/college!), I hear ya on the mojo of the blue collar simplicity!
i also love the distinction that our best always changes and it's powerful when we honor that rather than hold ourselves to unreasonable standards!
Hi, I really enjoy your videos, because as English is not my mother-tongue I find it way easier to understand you when I can see your Face and gestures.
awesome, chris!
when I taught classes in Bali, we once had ~25 people from 19 (!!!) different countries so it was fun to make sure I slowed down enough to make sure I was understandable. hehe.
where are you from?!
Hi, I´m from Germany. I found you because http://makecoolshit.com/ Nick on mentioned you.
Philosophers notes is really great.
I was baptized but I don´t belive in God anymore. My new religion seems to be: "how lead a good live", which means I want to find my own morality, ambitions, relationships, fitness routine and so on.
I know, I´ll end up buying the philosophers notes... You caught me...
Cheers
Chris
hehe. love it.
sign up now and you can play with us in the 50 day challenge! (and hook a friend up with a free subscription!
http://www.philosophersnotes.com/notes/50days
fun.
-bri
and thx to nick!
Great note to begin with! (the 50 day challenge) I listened to the mp3 while looking over the pdf (its good to hear where Brain emphasizes) and listed the 5 areas that I *know* need work. This idea if impeccability or integrity comes around again and again. So when doing the exercise I was called to be impeccable, to really list the 5 areas that are the darkest and I may not spend time on simply because they are so "huge" in my consciousness. To list them out though, with an open heart, felt liberating and brought some light into the dark.
My favorite part of this note is the quote from Vernon Howard -- “Encourage yourself by remembering that any detection of negativity within you is a positive act, not a negative one. Awareness of your weakness and confusion makes you strong because conscious awareness is the bright light that destroys the darkness of negativity. Honest self-observation dissolves pains and pressures that formerly did their dreadful work in the darkness of unawareness. This is so important that I urge you to memorize and reflect upon the following summary: Detection of inner negativity is not a negative act, but a courageously positive act that makes you a new person.”
Although not a quote directly from Ruiz it reminds me of his metaphor of the multi-headed Hydra. It runs our life and creates the Dream of the World. Doing the inner work is taking a sword and cutting off its heads, so it no longer functions in dictating what is real for us.
It's better to let the dark stuff run right in front of our eyes, than behind the scenes causing untold damage.
Last point, the way of the master is repetition. I love that the note ends with this simple wisdom. It is the wisdom that empowers each and every one of us to live like Ruiz, Aristotle, the Buddha, Jesus, or whoever you like who took the time, put in their 10,000 hours, and tasted the fruit of their effort.
Brings me back to...this moment, and what I am going to do in the next hour that enlivens, inspires, and adds value to the world.
DO IT.
wow. STUNNING.
I love it, john.
thx so much for sharing!!
amen.
love it!!
i vividly remember hearing gay and katie hendricks teach that "understanding is the booby prize"--EMBODYING is what it's all about! powerful stuff.
to positive and negative rituals! (including me dancing off the internet for now!